A Post-Grad Reminder

By Marissa Rotolo

ELLEN LONG / CurlyClicksPhotography

I used to sleep in my bed at home knowing I’d soon be back in my college town. Back in my bubble—surrounded by people my age, untouched by outside opinions, holding a sense of sovereignty over my own life.

I used to sleep in my college bed with the belief that when I moved home for good, I’d have a plan. A job. A budget. A few long-distance trips figured it out. A timeline for moving out.

None of that turned out to be true.

I always knew post-grad would be hard. And granted, I’m only a month into it—but they weren’t lying. It is hard.

It’s hard not knowing what the next six months will look like. It’s hard feeling like I’m wasting my days without a job lined up, even though I’ve applied to what feels like hundreds. It’s hard fighting the feeling that everyone is silently judging me. And it’s even harder trying to convince myself that despite the rejections, I’m still smart. Still capable. Still driven.

And it’s hard not having my school friends around to cry with.

Since we were young, life has followed a linear path—with clear next steps and a sense of where we should be. But now, for the first time, there’s no script.

Some friends will be unemployed. Some will move to new cities. Some will get engaged. Some will spend the summer in Europe. The list goes on.

And I guess that’s just how this part of life goes.

It’s a strange mix of emotions—to feel so much gratitude for the life you’ve lived while also feeling completely thrown by the season of change you’re entering.

Life is never black and white. And most of the time, I believe that’s a beautiful thing. But in moments of transition, it’s okay to admit that the gray areas can feel scary.

Lately, I’ve been living with a constant pit in my stomach, letting my expectations get the best of me. I keep thinking about the things I wish I could go back and tell myself.

But the truth is: I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. And I will get exactly where I’m meant to go.

Some things in life are meant to be outside of our control. And if you’re anything like me, that lack of control can feel like a spiral.

So this is mostly just a reminder—to any post-grad out there who feels lost, unsteady, or behind: you are not alone.

You are allowed to be unsure. You are allowed to be overwhelmed. You are also allowed to take your time.

You’re still becoming. And that counts for something too.

After all, you've got your f#$%ing bachelor's degree.

Kidd The / @kiddthes via Pinterest